


Back Into the World

by through_shadows_falling



Series: MCU Ficlets [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, First Meetings, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mute Bucky Barnes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson is a Gift, War Veteran Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/through_shadows_falling/pseuds/through_shadows_falling
Summary: Bucky hissed as light flooded the room. He wanted to curse Steve for waking him, but since getting blown up in the desert, his brain wasn’t so good at forming words anymore."Come on, Bucky. I'm not going to let you wallow in your room for the fourth day in a row. You’re getting your ass up and out. We're going to the VA."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oh_no_oh_dear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_no_oh_dear/gifts).



> I wrote this fic for sweet-coffee-jelly, who requested Sam/Bucky and angst with a happy ending.
> 
> This was my first time writing Sam/Bucky, so I hope you enjoy it! I definitely had fun writing it :)

“Okay, that’s it.”

Bucky hissed as light flooded the room after his friend Steve drew back the curtains. He ducked under the covers of his bed, embracing sweet, warm darkness, but Steve was far from done. 

“Oh no, you’re not going to stay in here all day, you hear me? Your ma’s gonna call any minute and ask what you’re doing, and I am _not_  going to say I let you wallow in your room for the fourth day in a row. You’re getting your ass _up_  and _out_.” 

Bucky wanted to curse Steve, but since getting blown up in the desert, his brain wasn’t so good at forming words anymore. He had a shit-ton of therapists to help with that, but he wasn’t scheduled to see them today. So, like the past few days, he’d planned to sleep, watch crappy television, sleep a bit more, and then of course, sleep again.

“We’re going to the VA, so you can either get dressed or I’m dragging you there in your underwear.” Steve sounded all righteous as usual. 

Bucky peeked out from the blanket, and of course Steve stood like a silhouetted superhero against the backdrop of the window, framed by sunlight. Bucky kept forgetting how tall he was now, and how much his muscles had filled out. He’d been a wimpy kid growing up, but after volunteering for armed services, he’d adopted a fierce diet and exercise regimen that packed on the bulk.

Steve’s physique was god-like, and Bucky was fairly beefy himself, even considering the weeks he’d drained away at the hospital. That was mostly due to the fact that, once he was released, he’d wanted to get back in shape as soon as possible (and definitely _not_  to avoid reflecting on his trauma. Nope). Now, when he wasn’t ‘wallowing’ as Steve put it, he’d be weight-lifting or doing cardio to keep his body active.  

But he’d hit a low streak lately, and he hadn’t had the energy to do much more than lie in bed or force himself to his therapist appointments. 

Steve cleared his throat. “Am I going to have to dress you myself?”

Bucky grumbled but sat up with groan. He glared at Steve, who simply raised an eyebrow. In response, Bucky lifted his right arm--the only one remaining, as his left had been blown clean off, leaving a stump just past his shoulder--and with careful dexterity, flipped him the bird. Steve just rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips. Internally, Bucky also celebrated his success. It seemed like his body was listening to him today. That was a good sign. Maybe this awful funk was finally lifting. 

He stood and shooed Steve out so he could change. He’d managed a shower yesterday, after the smell of his own stink had driven him to desperate measures, so at least he could get away with just some deodorant today, and maybe even a dab of cologne for old time’s sake. Why the hell not?

Bucky had only accompanied Steve to the VA on a handful of occasions, and every time, Bucky had wandered the hallways while Steve attended the group session. Bucky hadn’t been ready to face anyone else, though he did find it gratifying that no one stared at his missing left arm like they did in public. These people got it, at least. 

And maybe today Bucky would have the courage to listen to them share their stories. 

In jeans, a comfy t-shirt, and a black hoodie, Bucky emerged from his room to find Steve pacing the living room while on his cell phone. 

“--out today, yeah. To the VA. It’ll be good for both of us.” Steve turned. “Oh, he just came out of his room. Hey Buck, wanna say hi to your mom?”

Bucky nodded and accepted the phone. “H...h...h-i, Mmmmom.” 

“Hi there, sweetie. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

Bucky’s heart squeezed. He wished he could say more, but as his therapists kept telling him, he’d made a lot of progress since having to re-learn almost everything basic, so he shouldn’t push himself past what he was ready for. 

Honestly, he _was_ grateful he could eat, walk, and go to the bathroom on his own. 

But it would also be _really_ nice to talk normally, for a change. 

“I’m glad you and Steve are getting out today,” his ma said. “Staying cooped up is not good for you, you know.”

“Mm.”

“Now make sure to get some exercise and enjoy the fresh air while you can, okay? I’ll see you this weekend. I’m bringing your favorite.” She sang the last word in a horribly pitchy voice, and Bucky cringed even as he chuckled. 

“Y...yeaahh. Buh...bye.” He handed the phone back to Steve, who chatted for another minute before scooping up his motorcycle jacket. 

“You feeling the Harley today or should I call a cab?”

The VA here in Washington, DC wasn’t far, and with the sunlight streaming in and Steve fingering his jacket, it was obvious they should take the bike. Bucky pointed to the jacket and nodded. Steve broke out into a wide grin. “Nice. Come on then. We don’t want to be late.”

Ten minutes later, Steve leaned his Harley against the curb. Bucky slid off from behind him and removed his helmet. The VA building was sort of sad-looking, all gray and squat and concrete, but he knew from experience that the inside was freshly painted and the staff were all lovely, pleasant people. It made the experience that much smoother.

Steve stowed their helmets and led Bucky inside. They said hello to the receptionist and then headed straight into the first program room on the right. It was already set up for a group session - chairs in a circle, a spread of cookies on a back table beside a coffee urn, a few veterans already milling around, some talking and others quiet. 

Bucky’s heart hammered and he started to sweat, but he forced himself to follow Steve as he claimed his spot by draping his coat over a chair. 

“You gonna sit in this time?” Steve asked, gentle and non-judgmental, which Bucky appreciated more than Steve would ever know. He shrugged, unsure, and Steve just nodded. “Okay. Want some coffee?” 

Bucky grunted a yes, and they made a bee-line for the food table. Bucky had almost nailed the one-handed process of holding a cup and pressing the tab to pour, but he didn’t want to make a mess, so he let Steve do it for him. 

He’d just taken a sip of the bitter brew when a man walked in and Bucky’s mouth went dry. The man was attractive as hell, with a smart yet comfortable suit that he moved effortlessly in, a kind, friendly voice as he greeted the veterans, and a smile to die for. Not to mention the cheekbones and the ease with which he called them all to attention, comfortable in his status as an authority figure.

“Alright, everybody,” the man said. “Let’s get started.” 

Slowly the veterans took their places. Steve sat and glanced up at Bucky, who hesitated behind the empty seat next to Steve. 

“It’s okay,” Steve said. “You do whatever feels comfortable.”

“What Steve says,” the handsome man added, approaching them with his hand outstretched. “I swear we don’t bite. I’m Sam, by the way. And you are?”

Bucky very nearly bolted from the room, and Sam must’ve sensed his panic because he stepped back. “That’s fine. But if you wanna stay, please feel free. You can sit in the back next to the food if that works better for you. No pressure at all.” He returned to his chair at the far end and sat, leaving Bucky the only one standing.

Surprising himself, Bucky sat in the seat beside Steve and put his coffee cup on the floor. He could feel Steve’s approval, and didn’t even need to turn and see Steve giving him a proud smile. 

Damn it. Now Bucky was roped into this therapy thing and he couldn’t even talk and Sam was unfairly good-looking so Bucky would look stupid as hell and Sam was probably not even into guys and Bucky wasn’t ready for a relationship anyways and...

A hand landed on his jiggling knee, stilling it. Bucky glanced over at Steve, who offered him an encouraging look. 

“Breathe,” he mouthed, as Sam had started to give his opening spiel about voluntary sharing and good listening.

Bucky followed Steve’s exaggerated breaths as he strove to calm down, and finally, his heartbeat returned to normal. Bucky was afraid to see what the others thought of his “moment,” but when he looked up, the only person staring at him was a red-haired woman. Even still, her eyes held compassion and understanding as she nodded once, and he nodded back. 

Right. He was among friends here. Comrades. People who _understood_.

Bucky settled in to listen to the others speak their pieces. Some were obviously regulars, as they spent most of the time updating the group about their lives. One man went into detail about a nightmare he’d suffered, while yet another refused to say anything at all. The red-haired woman - Natalia - talked briefly about a failed mission that still grated on her. 

Steve didn’t contribute much beyond mentioning that he sometimes worked out too hard and needed to learn to listen to his body and recognize his own limits. Bucky snorted at that, but started when Steve suddenly eyed Bucky and shifted in his chair, making it squeak. “Hey, Buck, is it okay if I introduce you to the group?”

Bucky gulped as his heart skipped a beat. Why was he so nervous? This was Steve. He could trust Steve, especially after all he had done to help Bucky get better. 

“I won’t say anything bad, I promise,” Steve continued. “Just the basics, if that’s okay with you? But only if you let me.”

Well, Bucky couldn’t explain it all himself, right? With a bracing breath, he gave Steve permission with a curt nod. 

And Steve began regaling the group with tales of their childhood friendship, their high school graduation, and their similar military aspirations. These were easy topics, fun even, and the others seemed to listen well enough, some making expressions of amusement. 

Things devolved from there, though, when Steve brought up Bucky’s last tour, where he’d lost his arm and gotten his brains scrambled. 

Bucky closely studied everyone’s reactions. Most people were nodding along with Steve, and flicking Bucky quick glances, all except for Sam. 

Turned out Sam was watching only Bucky, and with a gaze so intense it caused him to break out into shivers. Bucky met his brown eyes, and for a long lingering moment they stared at one another. Then Bucky finally tore his gaze away, his stomach swooping from the undivided attention.

Breathe. He had to breathe. Sam was just being professional, right? It’s not like he would make a move on Bucky like this, even if he _was_  interested, which was impossible to tell from a single look.

“Bucky’s the strongest man I know,” Steve finished. “He’s made so much progress in his recovery, and I’m so proud of him.”

Bucky shook off his strange experience with Sam and knocked against Steve’s shoulder in mock embarrassment. It was true. He’d come far since waking up, barely knowing who he was and unable to do much of anything. He was proud of _himself_ , but he still had a long way to go. 

“Thanks for sharing,” Sam said, his voice warm and earnest. “We’re happy to have you both here, Steve and Bucky.” He eyed Bucky again and gave him a grin. “It sounds like you two have got a strong support system going on for each other. That’s real good.” He moved on to another subject, but was Bucky imagining it, or did Sam keep looking at him?

At the end of the session, they said their goodbyes and most of the veterans filed out. Steve and Bucky stayed behind to help clean up. Or well, Steve did. Bucky just wanted to observe Sam some more to see if he was going crazy or not.

“We still grabbing pizza after?” Sam asked Steve as they stacked chairs. 

Bucky, who had cleared the food table and grabbed a sponge to clean it off, turned to Steve. For a second, he forgot himself and tried to talk, but all that came out was a vague ‘p’ sound and a slurred ‘s.’ He clamped his mouth shut. 

“Oh,” Steve said with a wince, glancing between Sam and Bucky. 

“You totally forgot. _Again_ ,” Sam said, but his lips twitched into a smirk. “Gonna stand me up once more, huh?”

“Well, I mean...” Steve cringed in Bucky’s direction.

Bucky scowled. Why was Steve canceling? Bucky didn’t need a babysitter while the two of them had lunch. 

At the thought of them sitting across the table from one another, smiling and eating and laughing, completely unfounded jealousy flared in his gut. Furiously, he tamped it down and faced Steve. “G-g-go.” 

“Hey, you can come with, if you want,” Sam said. “It’s not like it’s a date or anything.” He winked at Bucky in a _decidedly_  flirtatious way, unless Bucky was hallucinating. 

His mouth agape, Bucky pointed at himself and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you. You like pizza?”

Steve started to speak, but Sam was intent on Bucky, and waved Steve off. Steve fell silent, leaving Bucky to nod in response. 

“You got a favorite kind?” Sam continued. 

Bucky nodded again. There was no way he’d get his brain and mouth to cooperate enough to say ‘pepperoni.’

“Pepperoni,” Steve answered for him. 

“Nice.” 

They finished cleaning up and departed from the VA. Bucky felt like the awkward third wheel as he trailed behind Steve and Sam on their way to a pizza joint within walking distance. The pair of them chatted freely, and to their credit, they did try to get Bucky to join them, but he just shook his head, focusing on the nice day. 

His ma was right about the fresh air. He inhaled a big whiff of sunshine and let himself relax. People moved slower here, but only because it was mid-afternoon, and no one had anywhere they had to rush off to. 

Soon, the air was tinged with the scent of frying grease. They reached the restaurant and inside, Steve and Sam chose a booth in the corner, giving them a clear view of the whole room. Old habits really did die hard. 

Steve slid onto the bench and Bucky joined him as they both stared at Sam. In the soft lighting of the restaurant, he looked even more beautiful. Bucky supposed it was a good step in his recovery to start feeling attraction again, but that did nothing to help him right now, when he couldn’t even strike up a conversation to save his life. 

Luckily, Steve and Sam had gotten to know each other pretty well, so the entire time of deciding on food, ordering, waiting, and then chowing down didn’t feel uncomfortable - even when the waitress gave Bucky’s missing arm a double-take. Steve and Sam had an easy camaraderie, and although Bucky felt fresh envy stir, he ignored it. After all, Steve deserved to have other friends, good friends like Sam whom he could be normal with. Steve deserved it all. 

And then Steve excused himself to the restroom. He was already on the end, so he just gave a quick wave and headed toward the opposite side of the restaurant. 

His absence left Sam and Bucky alone. Just the two of them. 

Bucky started to sweat with Sam’s gaze solely on him.

“Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable,” Sam said with a sheepish grin. “It’s not very professional of me. But I just wanted to say, I’d heard about you before, bout what you did for your men. That was damn brave of you.”

Should Bucky be flattered that Sam admired his military heroics, or disappointed that his attention hadn’t been flirtation?

“And then Steve’s told me so much about you on top of that.”

Bucky tensed. 

“It’s nothing bad, I swear,” Sam said with a chuckle. “It’s just...” His eyes raked over Bucky before he squeezed them shut. “God damn it. Why you gotta be so attractive, man?”

Bucky reeled back. Sam found him attractive?

Sam opened his eyes. “I mean, you’ve got them killer baby blues. What am I supposed to do with that?” He shook his head. “You know, Steve originally wanted us to meet outside the VA, in a more casual setting. Thought we might hit it off.”

Bucky’s eyes bulged. Had Steve been trying to set him up with Sam this whole time? 

“No, no, shit, not like that!” Sam reached across the table, pleading. “As _friends,_ not boyfriends or whatever.” He groaned. “I’m making a mess of this, aren’t I?” 

For some reason, seeing Sam flustered made him all the more endearing to Bucky. He’d seemed so put-together in the VA. It was nice to know he was as fucked up as the rest of them. 

Bucky smiled shyly at him, and when Sam finally noticed, he returned it. “Is this your way of saying you aren’t gonna head for the hills at the first opportunity? That I didn’t completely scare you off?” 

Bucky shook his head, his smile growing.

“Man, I swear I got better game than this. Not that this is part of a game!” Sam cringed and hid behind his napkin. He peeked out. “Unless you want it to be? I mean, we should probably start as friends first. Even though we technically started as counselor and patient, sort of. Ugh. This is why Steve is the worst.”

Bucky snorted so loudly the couple in the table across from them shot him a sharp look.

Sam cracked up and they both leaned in to giggle conspiratorially. 

When they finally sat back, Sam glanced toward the restroom area. “What’s taking Steve so long?” He turned to Bucky. “Should I go check?”

Bucky shook his head. He actually didn’t want Steve to come back yet. He liked getting to know Sam by himself.  

But after a few more minutes of idle chatter, during which the waitress swept up their dirty plates and deposited the check on the table, Bucky had to concede that maybe Steve needed their help after all.

Bucky stood, abruptly anxious. He scanned the restaurant.

In his periphery, Sam, who was still seated, flipped open his wallet and laid down some cash to cover their check. Bucky blinked. Oh, right, he should’ve offered to help pay. He was about to protest when Sam stood and clapped a warm hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s no problem, Blue Eyes.” Bucky flushed at the nickname, which made Sam smirk. “You can cover next time, yeah? Now let’s go see what Steve’s gotten himself into.”

Turned out that, after coming out of the bathroom, Steve had run into some old artist friends at another table, and was now chatting it up with them, not a care in the world.

Sam and Bucky decided to leave him to it, after they let him know they’d meet him in the park up the street.

They returned to the sunshine, and as they strolled the sidewalk, Bucky enjoyed the way Sam hovered near him, so close their arms would occasionally brush. The day was bright, literally and figuratively, and Bucky marveled at its stark contrast to the past few days of his.

But things were looking up again. He exchanged a grin with Sam, then offered his arm. His stomach fluttered when Sam accepted, and they looped their arms together. 

Things were looking up indeed.

He was glad Steve had dragged him out and back into the world.   


End file.
